It pains me to write this down. I mean I could just have posted an obituary at NST before the sports section, but I'd settle for the internet.
On the 5th of May I was woken up by the sound of dog's barking. Then I heard this squeaking, or maybe squealing followed. I was on my bed as I close my ears. I was trying to lie to myself. I was blinding myself from the truth. The truth that the squeaking was either from my pet rabbit Chelsea or JT. I closed my ear as I tried telling myself that the squeaking could be from a cat or some other poor animal, like a squirrel.
Then I heard my dad & mom opened the door of their bedroom as I heard heavy footsteps frantically going down the stairs as I heard my dad mentioning about a dog. It was his attempt to save my rabbits. Long story short, I found JT in one piece but Chelsea was no where to be seen. My dad tried to be optimistic and made a hypothesis that since there was no blood on the “crime scene” (my neighborhood), then she could be hiding down the drain or something and is still a bit afraid to come out.
Clearly the hypothesis is proven wrong because it has been nearly 5 days and I haven't seen her. God I miss Chelsea... I miss it when she gives me an “Are you done yet?” look every time I annoy her by kissing her on those puffy cheeks of hers every 5 seconds. What can I say??? I feel like an only child sometimes because my brother is never home. I don't even have internet. The only form of entertainment I can find is by playing with my 2 rabbits. They're like my babies...
I cried so hard on the 5th of May. I never cried so bad, except for that day when.. Anyway, I was suppose to work that day. And literally when there are no customers, I was crying in between. I let it all burst out, it was so hard as I contemplate on “What could have been if I”... After work I hoped that when my dad picked me up he would deliver some good news but na-da. I took a long depressing shower later on. I miss her so much.
I never lost a loved one/someone who meant so much to me in my life! My grandpa died, but I was too young to care. I literally played “kejar-kejar” wif my other cousins who were my age and younger upstairs as my grandpa's body was downstairs and everyone was mourning. I felt it. I felt like losing someone so close to me when Chelsea died. I am very sensitive towards violence against animal. I mean, when I heard about what happened to the polar bears in the documentary “An Incovenient Truth”, I lost it. Yup, I cried.
Being the paranoid girl I am, I felt like I heard the brutal execution of my rabbit's death. It hurts so much. My rabbit didn't deserve to die the way she did. Its too cruel...
I watched The Oprah Winfrey Show the other day and she mentioned that you shouldn't think about the way a person/animal dies, you should celebrate his/her wonderful life. My rabbit barely lived for a year, but compared to the day I brought her in, she definitely grew quadruple her original size. I know I'm famous for my exaggeration, but this one is the truth. My rabbits are very intelligent. Especially Chelsea. My dad released her once and she went so far until the playground area. I was so scared for her safety. (I had this image of a person seeing how meaty she is and decided to roast her for dinner. I admit, I'm very paranoid about everything really. When something bad happen, I'll think about all the worst case scenario. In fact, I ONLY think about the worst case scenario. Its hard to be optimistic when you're a realist at the same time.) And what do you know, the day after I heard a nudge by the gate. It was Chelsea!!! She came back!!! And its because she was hungry... How intelligent is that? She found her way back home, and she only went home to fill up her belly. I remember picking her up instantly as I showered Chelsea with kisses.
These days, I've come to terms with the fact that Chelsea is not apart of my life in the future. But I'll always have those memories...
Right now I feel so bad for my other rabbit who survived the incident. I don't dare let JT out and about anymore. And I feel bad... Its not like he has any friends anymore in that cage. Chelsea is gone. I wonder if he knows... I feel so bad every time I see him just stare blankly to the wall. I don't meant for this to happen to him. I bet it sucks just being by yourself most of the time. I really do... I feel so bad. I give him some milk now and then to make it up to him.
I'm even considering like a stray animal, a little kitten perhaps that I can adopt so that it can accompany him. At least he has a friend! I don't think my parents would approve of it though. Since I'm on my way to the college life, I won't take care of my pets anymore. And since they'd have too, which they don't want too, they completely disagree of any form of adoption from now on.
It just brings me to tears every time I think of Chelsea. How she died and all... Like it really hurts...
Fueled by Atiqah
Atiqah's name drop of the day: My lovely pet rabbit Chelsea...
Atiqah song of the day: My Immortal by Evanescence
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