Sunway College, Machester (Stupid!) United & my new celebrity crush (And HE is MALAY! *gasps*)

I refuse to further my studies at UIA and at this current moment, I am seriously opting for Sunway College instead. 

I know, I know... I bet you guys are like, “Dah tu, kenapa apply for UIA?”

Well, okay so it was my first choice, I... I didn't expect to be accepted! Like, I thought PASUM perhaps or maybe UiTM. But no, I actually got it! I mean its kind of shocking, then again maybe not. Because I did miraculously score A1 for both of my Agama & English. Last Sunday I followed my parents to my mom's cousin's house who happens to be the vice chancellor of UIA. And her wife is such a wonderful person. She told me a story about this person who is also my age, who so badly wants to enter UIA and her result is like, 8A1! But here's the catch, he/or was it a she, is not accepted because his/her grade for English is D!!! I guess it kind of make sense since the I in UIA is International therefore you should at least get credit for the subject english.

So my mom's cousin whose name is Dato' Azmi said that I should do what I want. And I completely agree. Doing my foundation at UIA is the complete opposite of what I want. I mean, I expected the whole Fardhu Ain and Bahasa Arab but doing my foundation for 1 and a half or worst, 2 years, I didn't saw that one coming... Plus, when I decided to pursue engineering, I made my mind to do Chemical Engineering since Chemistry is one of my forte in high school. And guess what?! Out of all the degree courses, UIA have Electrical, Mechanical, Aerospace even, EXCEPT for effing Chemical Engineering!!! I mean, its my fault too. I should have made an earlier research. I feel stupid. I mean, it made me numb. When I compared the PROS and CONS of going to UIA. The CONS are just... UNCOUNTABLE! 

My confusion was suddenly too much to handle, so I followed my dad's advice and throughout the weekend, I performed Solat Sunat Istiqarah as much as possible. Hoping for some sort of epiphany from Allah swt perhaps, to tell me what to do with my life. I felt so pathetic, confused, numb, a bit stupid and I even had this constant headache to bear with every time I think of the predicament I'm in.

So after a long, long time spent on 'thinking'... I decided to take Accounting. So my parents instantly said, “Amiklah kat UIA., tukar course je...”

I was just like, “God they are relentless to sumbat me there.”

Nahi! No way! Absolutely not! I feel that if I want to take accounting, I shall either do it my way... Or the highway... Get it? Its a joke. Anyway... I figured why not I take CAT. I mean, its faster! I can beat that cousin of mine who is like this genius who got a MARA scholarship to go to Australia and do his accounting degree. (If I am not mistaken, I 'think' he took accounting) 

I have an aunt who is a lecturer at UiTM and she specializes in Accounting. So of course my dad wanted me to perhaps switch IPTAs and go do my accounting course at UiTM Shah Alam instead. A few nights ago, my dad told me to “holla” my aunt and ask if she could help me. I don't have the guts to inform her that I had a “change of heart” (so to speak) and switched from chemical engineering to accounting. I can already imagine her reaction to be, “Eeeiii... Budak ini... Bertuah betul.” Plus, among the reason why I gave up on chemical engineering completely is I don't think I can “bawak” the course. Let's face it, Physics was not exactly my forte at school. I even scored 32 or was it 34 for my Physics paper during my trial SPM examination. I mean, I am still in bewilderment until now on how I manage to score an A2 for my SPM. I mean, don't get me wrong, syukur alhamdulillah... The only reasonable explanation I can come up with is, “The graph definitely turun...”

So anyway, I want to do this CAT course instead because after a year of CAT, I can straight do my ACCA level 2 and level 3! How easy peasy did that sounded like?! Obviously, the more fast track it is, the harder it shall be!!! But I don't mind, the harder the better. Plus, 3 years from now, when I do graduate from Sunway College (hopefully, fingers crossed), I won't be among those graduates who are unemployed!!! What a scary thought, you make a loan to study at an IPTS just to found out later after you graduated that you cannot find a work to pay back the loan. I mean, that would suck a lot!

But as I was reading the booklet regarding this course, I understood the fact that the “Big 4” (some “independent”/swasta companies I assume. Not Man U, Arsenal, Liverpool & Chelsea) will likely to employ graduates from Sunway College. I guess that's a good sign. Now all I have to do is strive to get a high pointer. To be more exact, I will try my best to score each paper and try to avoid from “sangkut”. That would be a scary thought considering the money that is involved. Plus I figured that if I graduate with an ACCA, it would somehow give me an edge in terms of getting a job when compared to the other graduates who “simply” (lolz) graduated with a... DIPLOMA or a DEGREE. Since ACCA is a professional qualification, it should hopefully make me stand out and make my job prospects even better! So after CAT, ACCA Level 2 & 3, I am looking to be working at the tender age of... 22! (its pretty tender/young to me ok) That's good! Bring on the dough! I can't wait to pay back the loan and help my family financially in the future. 

Then again, this all “might” happen if I do enter Sunway College. Tomorrow I shall meet my dad's old friend, Miss Khatijah, and perhaps score a MARA Loan. Thing is, my dad likes the fact that this CAT course is faster and he knows that I can do it but his only problem is that he refuse to give me the dough required. He figured, since Kerajaan sanggup tanggung me for my foundation under UIA complete with elaun and all, why not go to UIA. Y'know, he doesn't have to use his money. Its not that my dad is thrifty, he's just, very very “berjimat cermat”. He really is. And my mom thinks its stupid the fact that, “Why should you make a loan and later after you graduated, you will have to pay it back. When the IPTAs are more affordable.”

I think that's crap. Like when Faruq and Kamilla was accompanying me for my break yesterday (Yup, I'm still working at Parkson), we were talking and comparing between budak-budak IPTA and budak-budak IPTS. And we agreed that a “few” budak-budak IPTA cam do not take their studies seriously because its not their money on the line. Its kerajaan's. They don't have that same pressure that most IPTS students have of having to score each paper knowing how much money is on the line. Thousands I mean... And its true... I absolutely agree.

On a much sour note, by now the whole world has come to terms with the fact that Man U won the Champions League blah blah blah blah... *yawn* All I can say is Vidic is one smart mother *beep* for provoking Drogba the way he did. What a good strategy Alex constantly-chewing-gum-and-should-f**king-retire-by-now Ferguson! “Hey! Let's provoke Drogba, Chelsea's goal scoring machine!” Owh f**k you!!! Despite of the red card, I am going to unashamedly admit that it felt good seeing Vidic with BLOOD all over his nose. What a wimp! *screams as I pulled my hair* 

I'm telling all you MAN U fans, if Drogba was on the field for the whole 90 minutes, WITHOUT A F**KING DOUBT, the game would not have even gone to the penalty shoot out phase. Man U would have been buried!!! *take a deep breath*

I don't know why the english in me suddenly surfaced (the swearing and all), I mean, I'm a SPURS fan for god sake. I was suppose to be a neutral. Oh yeah, maybe its because I owe my abang saudara top up Hotlink RM10 because his team, MAN U won... 

F**K!!!

On a much surprising/sweeter/lighter note, I have an announcement! I officially have a crush with a local celebrity / selebriti tempatan!!! I know, how shocking! I mean, even my cousin Iqa was in bewilderment and wanted to know so bad who is this “local celebrity”. Well I admit, he was around before. I seen him a lot on TV, acting in SAKA on TV3. I never thought he was cute, just “Boleh Tahan...” I mean he had this facial hair going on, like a stubble, and the character he played is such a PRICK! I'm sorry, like kasar giler perangai dia. So not attractive.

But I forgot. I completely forgot that he was acting the whole time. Like, it never occurred to me. It finally did occurred to me that he was acting in SAKA, when I saw the real him in... MELODI! Yup, that show with Farah Fauzana & Wahid Senario on TV3! I know, I know... How shocking! I actually do watch TV3 once or twice, believe it or not! There he was, CLEANLY SHAVEN and had this suit on which makes him look so... GOOD/YUMMY! I mean compared to the character he was playing on TV, with the backpack and all... So sloppy and, unattractive y'know... Oh yeah, and during the interview I can officially confirmed that he is S-I-N-G-L-E!!! Because that chinese girl asked him, “Apa ciri-ciri wanita idaman?” Suddenly my heart beat faster, I had to know. But he gracefully replied, “Bila saya bertunang atau berkahwin nanti, saya akan umumkan...”

Aaawww...

Problem is, I didn't catch his name. Zaini. Zed Zaidi. No... It was Za- sumthing. I forgot. So I googled him, and got his myspace page! So hopefully by now he has added me! *blushes* 

Fueled by Atiqah

Atiqah's name drop of the day: Miss Khatijah (who will hopefully give me the green light and the dough needed for me to hopefully further my studies at Sunway College, insya-Allah...)

Atiqah song of the day: All I Need by Radiohead (In the video, the asian part was definitely shot in Malaysia! Because like, the mean old woman said at the start of the video, “Bangun! Bangun!” OMG!!!)

Trixie! (And no, I'm not talking about Speed Racer's girlfriend)

Yup, I am referring to the new member of my family. Although right now which is on the 14th of May, 10:00 pm, my parents still have no idea that I just got Trixie. (I am one sneaky monkey. What a coincidance, I bought a Paul Frank t-shirt soon after purchasing my little 'bundle of joy'.) In fact, my mom is in some conference while my dad is, well busy. I cannot come up yet with a good reason about how Trixie is suddenly in the cage with JT.

Either its some stray animal that I decided to adopt, but that won't make sense because its fur is in such good condition or a friend of mine had a lot of rabbit and decided to give me one! Or, I could just tell the truth and said I bought it at carrefour for RM90!!! But the latter one would cost me. My dad goes crazy if he finds out I spend that much money on a rabbit. Like the worst case scenario, he'd tell me to return Trixie back. But he doesn't understand. 1st and foremostly you guys should see the state of my rabbit JT, its just sad. Like, he's in a mournful state. And secondly, it was the cheapest rabbit they sold in Carrefour. I wanted to buy this other rabbit because it reminded me so much of Chelsea. It had a darker shade to its fur, and it was so curious. So friendly, so everything Chelsea. But when I asked for the price it was effing RM250!!! My gaji masuk tomorrow anyway, on the 15th  but I had to resist the temptation.

My new rabbit, which I appropriately named Trixie (since I watched Speed Racer like 30 minutes before purchasing it) is such a shy rabbit. I don't know why but when JT met Trixie, it seems there are no chemistry, yet. Either both parties are shy or... I don't know... I hope they can work it out and become good friends. I really do...

Fueled by Atiqah...

Atiqah's name drop of the day: R.I.A. Chelsea...

Atiqah's song of the day: Goodbye Horses by Q Lazzarus

Gombak or Queensland???

Should I further my studies at UIA in Gombak, Selangor or University of Queensland in Australia.

After speculating about the pros and cons for both university I still can't make up  my mind. Well, I did got matrix in Tangkak, Johor. For the course of Sains Hayat. But I decided to skip it because I would like to go for Sains Fizikal. For my upu, I manage to score UIA! For the course of foundation in engineering. I know,   I know... Most of you guys must be in bewilderment! UIA & me just doesn't seem to fit together. The chemistry doesn't seem to be there. I'd play Old Yellow Bricks by Arctic Monkeys and the university wants me to play Intifhada by Rabbani. 

In fact I just met Govin(deran) earlier at Alamanda on my way to GSC Alamanda and when I drop the bomb that I am going to U to tha IA, his instant reaction was, “Wwwooo, that's so not you.” And that is so true. It amazes me how this person whom I haven't met for 2 years can still know what I am and what I am not. I mean, I have nothing against wearing tudung or learning bahasa Arab or any of that stuff at all. But the fact that I was typing it down a few seconds ago, just made me cringe. It made me cringe just even trying to imagine whether I can even do half of it.

My dad campaigned to me, in his normal aggressive manner (which is for the good of my future anyway so I'm fine with it), that maybe I should think twice about going to UIA. Basically, I just found out that I am not going to study for 2 semesters. I have to study for my 'foundation' for 4 semesters!!! What the ef!!! I'm not being paranoid but my friends who are doing their matrix is doing it for a year, my friend Kamilla is doing her foundation at UTP for like, a year too. When I think about it, it would drive me crazy if my friends are already studying for their degree and here I am, stuck in Petaling Jaya, still studying for my foundation. Boo-hoo!!! So I called the UIA office and I decided to throw a couple of bold questions like... Why is my foundation taking so effing long??? And she said, “Kat UIA nanti you akan belajar Fardhu Ain, Arab, English & ICT. Foundation or matrix kat tempat lain mana ada buat macam UIA. Sebab tu belajar foundation sampai 4 semester. If bijak, 3 semester je dah sampai.” It was something like that. And... Well, I figured, okay... There's the pros of studying there. Later I'll be doing my degree at Gombak since I'm doing engineering. Thank god. If I do took a medic related course they will campak me all the way to Kuantan, Pahang!!!

And if I go for Queensland, I'd have to do my foundation studies at Taylor's for a year. And later fly all the way to Gold Coast, cuci mata sekejap, and later register to study at St. Lucia, one of Queensland's campus. Okay, the description seems nice and simple. But let me drop the bomb. I'd have to make a loan from MARA worth effing RM700,000.00!!! Wow... Like, that's a lot... And my dad said, if you graduate with 1st Honours, you don't have to pay cent. If I graduate with 2nd Honors, I only have to pay 10% of the loan, which means around RM70,000.00!!! Plus, if I go study at Queensland, I already specialize in a field which is Chemical & Metallurgical engineering. 

Which means I'd graduate with Bachelor of Degree in Chemical & Metallurgical Engineering. But if I graduate from UIA, I'd graduate with a Bachelor of Degree in Chemical Engineering. Like, I won't specialize in a certain field. And, I already am certain that metallurgical is the field for me.

Basically, here's my plan if I go for UIA. Do my foundation at UIA for at least 3 semesters, then I'll do my degree at Gombak and it will all cost me less than RM50,000.00 . Later, I'll apply for a MARA or JPA scholarship to do my masters overseas. In fact, in some cases, if you get 'outstanding' results, the university themselves will sponsor you to do your masters or/and PhD overseas!!! I mean, my cousin got a JPA scholarship to go study at Pennsylvania, USA. And now, that university is offering her scholarship to do her masters! Or maybe it was PhD, I forgot.

But here's my long term plan if I go for Queensland. I do my foundation at Taylor's (which cost effing RM18,000 for the whole year) and the rest to do my Bachelor of Engineering at University of Queensland. Later, I'll strive and give up my all to at least graduate with a 2nd Honor, or even better, graduate with 1st Honor so my loan will be converted into a scholarship altogether!!! And if I'm lucky, Queensland will sponsor me to do my Masters!!! And later, I will apply to work as a chemical engineer for the steel company Arcelor Mittal. Yup, my future employer will be Lakshmi Mittal, one of the richest people in the world and if I'm not mistaken, he is worth effing 40.sumthing billion dollar!!! That is a lot!!! Like, my MARA loan is just a drop of bucket to him.

Anyway, I know, I know... Things are definitely easier said then done. Especially in this case. Its like, such a big risk! I don't want to be in debt 6 years from now and become a graduate that can't find a job and had to sell insurance to pay for the loan monthly y'know... I don't want that. I just have to make sure that I study really really hard. 

To be honest, I don't think I give my all/100% for my SPM, and I still manage to get a good result. I figured, if I push my limit a little bit, and put up a 110%, I might achieve something I never thought I could. Like, graduating with 1st Honor!!! Who knows... I will strive my best to achieve it, I really would. 'Just graduating' is not an option. Let's face it, I can't possibly pay RM700,000.0 . That is 'A LOT'! Pun intended.

Fueled by Atiqah

Atiqah's name drop of the day: Trixie!

Atiqah song of the day: Youth by Matisyahu

CHELSEA (NO, NOT THE FOOTBALL CLUB)

It pains me to write this down. I mean I could just have posted an obituary at NST before the sports section, but I'd settle for the internet. 

On the 5th of May I was woken up by the sound of dog's barking. Then I heard this squeaking, or maybe squealing followed. I was on my bed as I close my ears. I was trying to lie to myself. I was blinding myself from the truth. The truth that the squeaking was either from my pet rabbit Chelsea or JT. I closed my ear as I tried telling myself that the squeaking could be from a cat or some other poor animal, like a squirrel.

Then I heard my dad & mom opened the door of their bedroom as I heard heavy footsteps frantically going down the stairs as I heard my dad mentioning about a dog. It was his attempt to save my rabbits. Long story short, I found JT in one piece but Chelsea was no where to be seen. My dad tried to be optimistic and made a hypothesis that since there was no blood on the “crime scene” (my neighborhood), then she could be hiding down the drain or something and is still a bit afraid to come out. 

Clearly the hypothesis is proven wrong because it has been nearly 5 days and I haven't seen her. God I miss Chelsea... I miss it when she gives me an “Are you done yet?” look every time I annoy her by kissing her on those puffy cheeks of hers every 5 seconds. What can I say??? I feel like an only child sometimes because my brother is never home. I don't even have internet. The only form of entertainment I can find is by playing with my 2 rabbits. They're like my babies... 

I cried so hard on the 5th of May. I never cried so bad, except for that day when.. Anyway, I was suppose to work that day. And literally when there are no customers, I was crying in between. I let it all burst out, it was so hard as I contemplate on “What could have been if I”... After work I hoped that when my dad picked me up he would deliver some good news but na-da. I took a long depressing shower later on. I miss her so much. 

I never lost a loved one/someone who meant so much to me in my life! My grandpa died, but I was too young to care. I literally played “kejar-kejar” wif my other cousins who were my age and younger upstairs as my grandpa's body was downstairs and everyone was mourning. I felt it. I felt like losing someone so close to me when Chelsea died. I am very sensitive towards violence against animal. I mean, when I heard about what happened to the polar bears in the documentary “An Incovenient Truth”, I lost it. Yup, I cried.

Being the paranoid girl I am, I felt like I heard the brutal execution of my rabbit's death. It hurts so much. My rabbit didn't deserve to die the way she did. Its too cruel... 

I watched The Oprah Winfrey Show the other day and she mentioned that you shouldn't think about the way a person/animal dies, you should celebrate his/her wonderful life. My rabbit barely lived for a year, but compared to the day I brought her in, she definitely grew quadruple her original size. I know I'm famous for my exaggeration, but this one is the truth. My rabbits are very intelligent. Especially Chelsea. My dad released her once and she went so far until the playground area. I was so scared for her safety. (I had this image of a person seeing how meaty she is and decided to roast her for dinner. I admit, I'm very paranoid about everything really. When something bad happen, I'll  think about all the worst case scenario. In fact, I ONLY think about the worst case scenario. Its hard to be optimistic when you're a realist at the same time.) And what do you know, the day after I heard a nudge by the gate. It was Chelsea!!! She came back!!! And its because she was hungry... How intelligent is that? She found her way back home, and she only went home to fill up her belly. I remember picking her up instantly as I showered Chelsea with kisses.

These days, I've come to terms with the fact that Chelsea is not apart of my life in the future. But I'll always have those memories... 

Right now I feel so bad for my other rabbit who survived the incident. I don't dare let JT out and about anymore. And I feel bad... Its not like he has any friends anymore in that cage. Chelsea is gone. I wonder if he knows... I feel so bad every time I see him just stare blankly to the wall. I don't meant for this to happen to him. I bet it sucks just being by yourself most of the time. I really do... I feel so bad. I give him some milk now and then to make it up to him.

I'm even considering like a stray animal, a little kitten perhaps that I can adopt so that it can accompany him. At least he has a friend! I don't think my parents would approve of it though. Since I'm on my way to the college life, I won't take care of my pets anymore. And since they'd have too, which they don't want too, they completely disagree of any form of adoption from now on.

It just brings me to tears every time I think of Chelsea. How she died and all... Like it really hurts...

Fueled by Atiqah

Atiqah's name drop of the day: My lovely pet rabbit Chelsea...

Atiqah song of the day: My Immortal by Evanescence

I FEEL EXTREMELY BLESSED THESE DAYS

There were days that I feel like I am the most unfortunate and unhappy girl in the world. I mean, I look at my friends around me and I can't help but to compare. I feel like I am lacking in every department, and it sucks. But being the muslim that I am, I look at it as god testing my faith. In fact, I try to be as optimistic as possible. Like, at least my state of living is much better then the other girls who are my age in countries like Darfur, Afghanistan and so much more. 

I must admit, shows like The Oprah Winfrey Show really bring me down to my feet every time I feel like the unluckiest girl in the world. At least:

1. I have delicious food to eat 3 times a day

2. I get a decent education and will go to college soon.

3. I live in a democratic country

4. and so much more...

To me, if those grim days weren't so 'low'... Then the high days won't be so 'high'... 

Like, the day my dad told me that I am too young to own an Apple Macbook plus it might get stolen in the campus so he ordered some Toshiba laptop instead, that was a low day. I know, I know. You guys won't look at it as that big of a deal, but it is to me! I mean, since the start of the year I have made it clear to my dad about my desire to own a Macbook. And yet he had to order some Toshiba laptop, without even talking to me in the first place.

Then again, like The Academy Is said, the world tends to unfold the way it should. What do you know, I own a macbook now. I mean, its a miracle!!! I count my blessings every single day, I am more then sure that my prayers are being answered. Now to add another one to my blessing list, I am accepted to UIAM!!! How exciting!!! Except for the fact that I have to wear tudung, wear baju kurung (which I have no problem with) and not tight body hugging clothing and learning bahasa Arab. Then again, learning bahasa Arab should be fun. I will only be learning the basics, plus its hard to pronounce. Almost like french... Almost...

My course is for asasi kejuruteraan. Like foundation, for a year. Then a degree!!! I decided to take engineering because there are more options later on and it looks very interesting. Plus I have done my research on the job prospects and its looking good. I just have to learn to stand out then all the other graduates. In fact, I already set my sight on who will my future employer be. I am talking about the company Arcelor Mittal!!! Right now I am considering to be a chemical engineer who specializes in metallurgy. It sounds interesting, and hard. Then again, nothing is easy in the world. And I am going to work hard to achieve this.

I am seriously considering to sacrifice my social life if it will increase my chances to get a higher grade pointer at the end of the semester. Like, during high school years of form 4 and form 5, my goal was to never fail a single subject out of the 10 subjects. And I did it, although I nearly failed it when during my trial SPM I scored like 30+ for my physics paper. My my, wasn't that a wake up call for me. Honestly, I never took SPM seriously. Not even a week before the first paper. It was the last weekend before SPM that made the whole thing finally sink in into my conscious. This is it... 

Now, my goal for my college year is to score 3.5 and above!!! Who am I kidding... LOLZ!  It sounds so much easier in The Sims 2 University. So maybe, my goal is to score 3.0 and above. But during my final year, it will be 3.5 and above. Even better, if I can get 4 flat! My uncle said 1200 students in Malaysia did it this year alone, well so can I... If they can do it, why can't I? My brain capacity is the same as theirs, I guess it all goes down to hard work. And I will strive for that. My parents have invested so much in me I cannot imagine letting them down.

Fueled by Atiqah...

Atiqah's name drop of the day: The people who created The Sims!

Atiqah's song of the day: New Soul by Yael Naim